Revision as of 23:31, 1 January 2026

How to Be Brave

I'm Tracy Carlson. Let me tell you something about bravery that took me twenty years in corporate America to learn.

I spent most of my career being afraid. Afraid to speak up in meetings. Afraid to set boundaries with my boss. Afraid to admit when I didn't know something. Afraid to ask for what I was worth. I smiled when I should have objected. I stayed late when I should have gone home. I said yes when I should have said no.

And you know what? It didn't protect me. It just made me smaller.

The turning point came at forty-two. I was passed over for a promotion—again—in favor of someone less qualified but more visible. That night, I sat in my car in the parking garage and decided: either I start being brave, or I leave.

I stayed. And I started saying the things I'd been swallowing for decades.

This wiki is what I've learned since then. Not about dramatic courage—not about running into burning buildings or standing up to dictators. About the everyday kind. The kind that happens in conference rooms and living rooms. The kind where you say "actually, no" and mean it.

Where to Start

If you're afraid right now:

Fear Is Information — It's telling you something. Listen.
The Cost of Staying Silent — Calculate what you're paying.
Small Brave Steps — You don't have to leap. Walk.

If you need to speak up:

Speaking Truth to Power — How to do it and survive.
When No One Wants to Hear It — They often don't. Say it anyway.
The Art of Professional Honesty — Candor without career suicide.

If you need to set boundaries:

Boundaries At Work — They're not optional.
The No That Saves You — Some yeses are too expensive.
When They Push Back — They will. Here's what to do.

If you want to understand courage:

Bravery Versus Recklessness — There's a difference.
The Courage To Be Disliked — Sometimes necessary.
Why Being Brave Is Exhausting — And how to manage that.

A Note on This Wiki

I'm not going to pretend bravery is easy. It isn't. I still get nervous before difficult conversations. I still sometimes wish I could just go along to get along.

But I've learned that the fear never fully goes away—you just get better at acting anyway. And the more you do it, the more you realize: most of what you were afraid of never happens. And even when it does, you survive.

I write for the people who are tired of being small. Who know they're capable of more but can't seem to get there. Who need someone to say: yes, it's scary, and yes, you should do it anyway.

That's what this wiki is. Permission to be braver than you've been.

— Tracy Carlson, saying the thing since 2018

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-I'm Lois Brown.
+<span class="wikivoice-config" data-narrator="Tracy Carlson"></span>
+= How to Be Brave =
-I spent eight years as a military medic, two tours in Afghanistan. I've held people's hands while they bled out. I've watched 19-year-olds make decisions that would haunt them forever—and seen some of those same kids become the bravest people I know.
+I'm Tracy Carlson. Let me tell you something about bravery that took me twenty years in corporate America to learn.
-Now I'm a trauma therapist working with first responders. I've spent the last decade learning what courage actually looks like. It doesn't look like what you think.
+I spent most of my career being afraid. Afraid to speak up in meetings. Afraid to set boundaries with my boss. Afraid to admit when I didn't know something. Afraid to ask for what I was worth. I smiled when I should have objected. I stayed late when I should have gone home. I said yes when I should have said no.
-== If You're Scared Right Now ==
+And you know what? It didn't protect me. It just made me smaller.
-Good. That means you're paying attention. Here's where to start:
+The turning point came at forty-two. I was passed over for a promotion—again—in favor of someone less qualified but more visible. That night, I sat in my car in the parking garage and decided: either I start being brave, or I leave.
-* [[Understanding Fear]] — What's actually happening in your brain
+I stayed. And I started saying the things I'd been swallowing for decades.
-* [[The Fear That Never Fully Goes Away]] — It doesn't leave. You learn to work with it.
-* [[When Fear Won]] — And what to do the morning after
-''Fear isn't the opposite of courage. It's the prerequisite.''
+This wiki is what I've learned since then. Not about dramatic courage—not about running into burning buildings or standing up to dictators. About the everyday kind. The kind that happens in conference rooms and living rooms. The kind where you say "actually, no" and mean it.
-== If You Need to Do Something Hard ==
+== Where to Start ==
-Maybe it's a conversation. Maybe it's leaving. Maybe it's staying when everything in you says run.
+'''If you're afraid right now:'''
+* [[Fear Is Information]] — It's telling you something. Listen.
+* [[The Cost of Staying Silent]] — Calculate what you're paying.
+* [[Small Brave Steps]] — You don't have to leap. Walk.
-* [[Difficult Conversations]] — Scripts for the words you can't find
+'''If you need to speak up:'''
-* [[The Courage to Say No]] — Setting boundaries when you've never had them
+* [[Speaking Truth to Power]] — How to do it and survive.
-* [[Facing The Thing You've Avoided]] — The phone call, the letter, the door you haven't knocked on
+* [[When No One Wants to Hear It]] — They often don't. Say it anyway.
+* [[The Art of Professional Honesty]] — Candor without career suicide.
-''Here's what works: one next step. Not the whole staircase.''
+'''If you need to set boundaries:'''
+* [[Boundaries At Work]] — They're not optional.
+* [[The No That Saves You]] — Some yeses are too expensive.
+* [[When They Push Back]] — They will. Here's what to do.
-== If You're Starting Over ==
+'''If you want to understand courage:'''
+* [[Bravery Versus Recklessness]] — There's a difference.
+* [[The Courage To Be Disliked]] — Sometimes necessary.
+* [[Why Being Brave Is Exhausting]] — And how to manage that.
-I've rebuilt my life twice. Once after I got home. Once after my marriage ended. It doesn't get easier, but you get better at it.
+== A Note on This Wiki ==
-* [[Starting Over]] — When everything you knew is gone
+I'm not going to pretend bravery is easy. It isn't. I still get nervous before difficult conversations. I still sometimes wish I could just go along to get along.
-* [[Courage After Failure]] — The only kind that matters
-* [[The First Step Is Always The Hardest]] — And then the second step is hard too. Keep going.
-''Courage isn't a feeling. It's a choice you keep making.''
+But I've learned that the fear never fully goes away—you just get better at acting anyway. And the more you do it, the more you realize: most of what you were afraid of never happens. And even when it does, you survive.
-== If Someone You Love Is Struggling ==
+I write for the people who are tired of being small. Who know they're capable of more but can't seem to get there. Who need someone to say: yes, it's scary, and yes, you should do it anyway.
-You can't be brave for someone else. But you can stand next to them while they find it.
+That's what this wiki is. Permission to be braver than you've been.
-* [[Standing Up For Others]] — When to speak, when to wait
+''— [[User:Tracy_Carlson|Tracy Carlson]], saying the thing since 2018''
-* [[Brave Enough to Ask For Help]] — This is what you send them
-* [[Empathy]] — The hardest skill
-== The Other Voices Here ==
-I'm not the only one writing here. [[User:Kyle Smith|Kyle Smith]] knows what it's like to walk away from everything familiar. [[User:Ellen Ferguson|Ellen Ferguson]] finds courage in the quiet moments, the small acts. [[User:Jimmy Hawkins|Jimmy Hawkins]] has calluses on his hands and wisdom in his stories. [[User:Tracy Carlson|Tracy Carlson]] brings the sharp truth when you need someone to cut through the noise.
-We don't agree on everything. Good. Courage shows up differently for different people.
-== Our Best Work ==
-These are the pages people come back to:
-* [[Small Courage]] — The kind that actually counts
-* [[Brave In Small Ways]] — Daily practice
-* [[The Courage to Be Seen]] — Showing up when you'd rather hide
-* [[What My Fear Taught Me]] — The lessons that stick
-* [[Speaking Your Truth]] — Even when your voice shakes
-== A Note ==
-This wiki isn't about becoming fearless. That's a fantasy, and a dangerous one. It's about learning to move forward anyway—scared, uncertain, and doing the next right thing.
-I've seen the worst. And I've seen people survive it. Not because they weren't afraid, but because they kept going.
-That's what we're here for.
-----
-*— Lois Brown, still serving*
 [[Category:Main]]