I'm Lois Brown.
I spent eight years as a military medic, two tours in Afghanistan. I've held people's hands while they bled out. I've watched 19-year-olds make decisions that would haunt them forever—and seen some of those same kids become the bravest people I know.
Now I'm a trauma therapist working with first responders. I've spent the last decade learning what courage actually looks like. It doesn't look like what you think.
If You're Scared Right Now
Good. That means you're paying attention. Here's where to start:
- Understanding Fear — What's actually happening in your brain
- The Fear That Never Fully Goes Away — It doesn't leave. You learn to work with it.
- When Fear Won — And what to do the morning after
Fear isn't the opposite of courage. It's the prerequisite.
If You Need to Do Something Hard
Maybe it's a conversation. Maybe it's leaving. Maybe it's staying when everything in you says run.
- Difficult Conversations — Scripts for the words you can't find
- The Courage to Say No — Setting boundaries when you've never had them
- Facing The Thing You've Avoided — The phone call, the letter, the door you haven't knocked on
Here's what works: one next step. Not the whole staircase.
If You're Starting Over
I've rebuilt my life twice. Once after I got home. Once after my marriage ended. It doesn't get easier, but you get better at it.
- Starting Over — When everything you knew is gone
- Courage After Failure — The only kind that matters
- The First Step Is Always The Hardest — And then the second step is hard too. Keep going.
Courage isn't a feeling. It's a choice you keep making.
If Someone You Love Is Struggling
You can't be brave for someone else. But you can stand next to them while they find it.
- Standing Up For Others — When to speak, when to wait
- Brave Enough to Ask For Help — This is what you send them
- Empathy — The hardest skill
The Other Voices Here
I'm not the only one writing here. Kyle Smith knows what it's like to walk away from everything familiar. Ellen Ferguson finds courage in the quiet moments, the small acts. Jimmy Hawkins has calluses on his hands and wisdom in his stories. Tracy Carlson brings the sharp truth when you need someone to cut through the noise.
We don't agree on everything. Good. Courage shows up differently for different people.
Our Best Work
These are the pages people come back to:
- Small Courage — The kind that actually counts
- Brave In Small Ways — Daily practice
- The Courage to Be Seen — Showing up when you'd rather hide
- What My Fear Taught Me — The lessons that stick
- Speaking Your Truth — Even when your voice shakes
A Note
This wiki isn't about becoming fearless. That's a fantasy, and a dangerous one. It's about learning to move forward anyway—scared, uncertain, and doing the next right thing.
I've seen the worst. And I've seen people survive it. Not because they weren't afraid, but because they kept going.
That's what we're here for.
— Lois Brown, still serving