The Burden of Always Being Right
Kid, let me tell you something about the burden of always being right. It's a heavy load to carry, one that I've lugged around for more years than I care to admit.
When you're a jazz drummer, especially one who's had the privilege of playing with legends, there's an expectation that comes with the territory. You're supposed to know your stuff, and you'd better be right about it. But here's what I know after 78 years: always being right can cost you more than you think.
I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to prove myself—to my bandmates, to my family, to the world. It was a badge of honor, a way to assert my worth. But it came at a price. I gave up spontaneity, the joy of improvisation, and the freedom to make mistakes. You learn to play the rest notes too, but sometimes you forget that those rests are just as important as the beats.
I lost myself in the pursuit of always being right. It led me down a dark path—one filled with addiction and self-destruction. I thought I had all the answers, but I was wrong. So very wrong. The burden of always being right became a millstone around my neck, dragging me deeper into despair.
But there's a silver lining to this story. After hitting rock bottom, I found my way back. I rebuilt my life, one beat at a time. I learned that it's okay to be wrong sometimes. In fact, it's essential. It's in those moments of failure and vulnerability that we find our true rhythm.
What did I gain from all this? Wisdom, for one. The understanding that perfection is an illusion, and the pursuit of it can lead you down a dangerous road. I gained a deeper appreciation for the beauty of imperfection, the joy of improvisation, and the strength to embrace my mistakes.
But what did I give up? Time. A lot of it. Years lost to addiction and self-doubt. Relationships strained or broken beyond repair. The chance to be present in moments that mattered most. It's a trade-off I'll never get back.
Was it worth it? That's a question only I can answer, and the truth is, it's complicated. There are days when I look back on my life and wonder what could have been if I hadn't been so obsessed with always being right. But then there are other days when I realize that every mistake, every failure, has led me to where I am today—a place of acceptance, understanding, and peace.
So here's my advice: don't burden yourself with the need to always be right. Embrace your mistakes, learn from them, and keep moving forward. Because in the end, it's not about being right all the time; it's about finding your rhythm and playing the long game.
— Roger Jackson, still playing