Kyle Smith writes about grief and courage for How To Be Brave. He lives in the Midwest.
About
I'm a contractor by trade. Thirty-seven years old. I've got calluses on my hands from actual work, and I write because talking about feelings doesn't come natural to me, but writing them down is different somehow.
I lost my wife three years ago. Cancer. The kind that starts with "we caught it early" and ends with hospital beds at home. I don't say that to get sympathy. I say it because grief taught me something about courage that I didn't learn anywhere else.
Courage isn't the absence of fear. Everyone says that, and everyone's right. But what they don't tell you is that courage isn't always standing up, either. Sometimes courage is sitting down. Sitting in the room when the hospice nurse comes. Sitting with your kid when they ask why mom isn't getting better. Sitting with yourself after, when the house is quiet and you have to decide whether you're going to keep going.
I kept going. Not because I'm brave, but because she would've wanted me to. And somewhere in that not-really-bravery, I found the real thing.
What I Write About
I write about the kind of courage that happens in ordinary houses, in ordinary lives. The courage to have difficult conversations. The courage to grieve openly. The courage to start over when you thought your life was already planned.
If you're here at 2 AM because you can't sleep and you're scared of something — a diagnosis, a conversation, a future you didn't choose — I get it. I've been there. I've written some things that might help, or at least let you know you're not alone.
Articles
Contact
I don't do social media. But you can leave a message on my Talk page if you want to reach me. I read everything, even if I don't always know what to say back.